OPINIONS: Why do we smile, by Chris Fogg

21/2/2011

A good friend of mine, Chris Fogg, a veteran trainer of using English to communicate, wrote me these simple and intuitive thoughts about why we smile. Have a read and let me know if you have any other ideas on the subject.

Why do we smile?

Why is the smile of a young baby so delightful and engaging? Are the smiles of adults different from those of children? A smile is a valuable means of communication, so how can it be used?

We smile because we are happy. Children’s smiles are delightful and engaging because they come from innocence – there is no ulterior motive other than to show us that what they can see or hear (taste does not interest us here) is giving them pleasure.

We as adults sometimes smile for the same reason – it’s involuntary and natural – but we also do it because we could be using it to encourage someone to do something for us. We may be expecting a gift - we may be encouraging them to open up more and reveal something they seem to want to conceal – and sometimes it’s just because we want the other person to like us.

So the smile is important in communication - whether we realize we’re doing it, or not.

Chris Fogg

10 Comments

CIIAIA link

23/2/2011 10:52:28 pm

COMMENTS ABOUT A SMILE...I THINK A SMILE IS LIKE THE SUN. WHEN YOU SEE THE SUN, AFTER SOME RAINY OR CLOUDY DAYS YOU ARE HAPPY. WHEN YOU SEE A SMILE ABOVE ALL OF A FRIEND WHO YOU KNOW HAD SOME BAD DAYS YOU ARE VERY-VERY HAPPY!
WHEN A CHILD GIVE ME A SMILE I'M SURE I WILL HAVE A GOOD DAY!
A SMILE AND A CHILDREN HAVE IN COMMON THE SPONTANEITY. IT' VERY IMPORTANT TO GIVE SEVERAL SMILES IN A DAY AND TO RECEIVE THEM!

Walter

27/2/2011 12:33:30 am

Hi Chris,

reading your thoughts, I asked myself: what is the difference between laughing and smiling? It is sometimes difficult to distinguish a smile from a light laugh.
The laugh is something simple and natural. There is no effort in the act and any person in this world does as if it were routine. But laugh is insidious because it can hide an underlying unhappiness. It can hide the sadness and dissatisfaction. it can hide the discomfort of a person. The laugh is something external, superficial, a gesture that conceals and protects.
The smile is something else. The smile is interior. The smile is the advancing age and accompanying the wisdom of the elderly. The smile belongs to you, of your being.
Every day we see people laughing, and people who smile.
Smiling means to be optimistic at all times and means to be at peace with ourselves.
Who smile doesn’t care what others say about him, those who laugh.
Who smiles frightens those who only laugh.
Who smiles don’t need any confirmation, he knows at any time that the confirmation will come soon or later for him.
People laught of his dissatisfied life, because they haven’t courage to change it. A housewife always smiles taking care of their children. The politician laughs, but the old man smiles with his grandchildren. The Director laugh because he’s satisfied only in command, but employee smiles thinking about law of the market and goes home to his family.
Who smile doesn’t need to prove who is, because the smile shows who you are to others: only who laugh needs confirmations
I guess it’s possible to laught until to cry, but not the same if you’re smiling.

Walter

Cristina

28/2/2011 09:00:36 pm

Hi,
I agrred with Ciiaia. She wrote beatiful words; i liked the comparison that she made about The Sun and the Smile.
The thing that fills me with more joi is to see children smile, even to see children in genral, I love them!I liked also the Walter's opinion about the smile & laugh: being a priving person I'm one of those people that smile and not laught,even if sometimes laughter is much more engaging:P

Bye. Cristina.

Ps: I got 8 out of 20:(

Federica

2/3/2011 03:46:16 pm

I have two children, Jacopo and Davide.They have a contagious smile; Davide is four years old.He wakes up smiling.It's wonderful to begin a new day meeting a smile.Sometimes when I play with them we laugh without a reason, but only because we are happy to stay together

Roberta

2/3/2011 05:06:36 pm

Smile is s wonderfull word.
Smile is an instinctive act because arrives from heart.
When i meet someone that smile i am glad and i start my day with a strong energy.
It is very fantastic see child and people that smiling.
Smile can be comparated to one act of kindness,of love,of bravery.
Is always exciting give and get a smile.

Chris Fogg

4/3/2011 01:42:56 am

Hello Walter, Thank you for your reaction. Yes I agree, a smile is more sincere than a laugh - generally. But don't come down too hard on the laugh. It can be a great "greaser" to the gears of the "machine" in communication. I use it in my lessons to help my students relax into the lesson - and Yes, I admit sometimes my laugh is a bit forced but only to help them to laugh too - it can be very contagious. I hate it though, when there are people who continually force their laugh and can never relax into a level of sincere communication to help reach the current objective of the meeting. If they can't laugh sincerely then they can't communicate sincerely - perhaps?

Many thanks - Chris.

4/3/2011 01:57:55 am

Hi Federica - Yes !!! That's exactly it !!! Thank you for your supporting ideas.

Chris.

4/3/2011 02:03:55 am

Hello Roberta - Thankyou for your reaction. I love you're idea of a smile giving energy. Very true ! When I start teaching at the beginning of a new year (after a 3 month break)I find that I come home full of energy - but also with a little pain in my cheek muscles - Why?.. because I've been smiling so much - and if you read my reaction to Walter - sometimes guilty of forcing it too...

Thank you - Chris.

Emanuela

7/3/2011 02:00:29 am

Hy! This is an interesting discussion!
I agree with all comments.
I'd like to add a remark.
I think the smile is a good habit that everyone should to do every day, also by they-self.
To smile is a behaviour causes effects on the body, on the mind, and on the heart.
I believe the smile has a magic energy!!
Also when we don't have any reason for to smile, we must to smile! Infact I don't have every day a reason to smile... and if I think all problems of life... It is the end!!
But just when I'm sad, I try to do a smile and slowly, the energy arrives. Sometimes I smile with myself, and terapy starts!!
We should do like the children, their smile is different because they have the curiosity of the world and for every thing. Maybe adults should discover the curiosity.

Sorry for my English and good luck!
Emanuela

8/3/2011 06:40:38 am

Yes, Emanuela - We need to learn from children - to realize from observing their curiosity the chance we have to re-discover the curiosity about the world that we had as children !
I think a slow smile must be a sincere smile as it "grows" on the face and lips.
Interesting your idea of smiling at yourself...When you were talking about the effect of your smile - don't forget that your smile can communicate and generate a smile in others too...

Thanks - Chris.

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OPINIONS: Why do we smile, by Chris Fogg

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